Saturday, January 7, 2012

In Memory of Auntie M!

At my wedding in 2008, this was one month before her last chemo treatment.

On Wednesday, December 14 I had gotten called off of work that day. It was around 3pm and my mom and Catherine and Grace and myself were headed to do some Christmas shopping in Layton. Headed on the freeway my mom got a phone call from my brother. The dreaded phone call that you don't want to get. My brother said that my Aunt Marilee was dead. We thought it was a joke, and quickly he assured us it was reality. She was gone. 

My Aunt Marilee is my mom's only sister. They have always had a troubled relationship, it was tough, but they worked through things as hard as things were because they were family. Marilee was diagnosed with paranoid schizopherenia almost two decades ago, I think. But she denied all diagnoses. She led a hard life, a single mom, raising a son and a sickness only those who go through it can understand. She was medicated, and was doing well. A couple years ago she had breast cancer, and fought it. We think she got started on some pain meds and anti-anxiety meds and that's what started this downward spiral toward the end. 

The last time I saw her was at Thanksgiving. She seemed not herself. It was as if she had a cloud over her personality. She seemed to be in some sort of haze. After dinner, I wanted to take a picture of she and Catherine. I did, and she gave me a hug after I took it and she told me that now Catherine will always have that to remember her by. A thought came in my head, was this the last picture Catie will have with her Aunt Marilee? I didn't think too much of it, but it turned out to be true. 
When I said goodbye to her I told her how much I loved her. And that was it. 
There are a lot of family members who have regret, and guilt towards her death. Why did she do what she did. Why are we left here on this earth to mourn her and how it happened. 
The only thought that keeps me going is that she is in heaven now and free from pain. I think that God, Heavenly Father, Allah, whoever you may believe in will judge her with the utmost loving care and compassion. May you rest forever in our hearts Auntie M!
For you are loved.

1 comment:

The Kaspers of Logan said...

Your post is a loving tribute. Thanks for sharing it.